The Tales of Geass
by Above the Winter Moonlight
Summary: There is more than one untold story to share. There is more than one timeline to explore. This is a collection of tales with a variety of genres, a range of characters, and an array of situations set in a myriad of different of timelines. 4: It's Valentine's Day and Shirley wants something special to show Lelouch that she cares. Nunnally suggest a simple way how.
1. Favor

**Note One: I will take requests. However, I refuse to write lemons and I won't write slash or incest pairings (I have nothing against slash but I just can't write it. And I just absolutely _refuse_ to do anything involving incent [and I count Lelouch being paired with _any_ of his half-siblings as incest]). I'm pretty much open to requests but, if you've got one, please PM me and I will let you know if I accept or decline the request.**

 **Note Two: This story will also have oneshots and short stories set in the universes created by my _Code Geass_ stories, _Divergence_ (and its currently unnamed sequel) and _Rise of the Black King_ and if the oneshot or short-story is set in one of these universes, it will be posted in the Setting section at the beginning of the oneshot/short story**

 ** _Disclaimer:_** _I do not own Code Geass. I never have and I never will. I am only saying this once; therefore, I will not repeat it in later chapters._

 **. . .**

 **. . .**

 **The Tales of Geass**

 **. . .**

 **. . .**

 **1**

 **Favor**

 **. . .**

 **Genre:** drama

 **Rating:** PG 13 for language and safety mostly

 **Summary:** Just how did Kallen end up working at Babel Tower?

 **Main Characters:** Kallen Kozuki, C.C.

 **Setting:** Canon-timeline. Pre-Turn 1

 **. . .**

It was late. Stars speckled the black surface that hung above the Tokyo Settlement and Kallen Kozuki gazed up at it briefly before starting to walk again, stuffing her hands into the pockets of her sleeveless jacket. The warm early spring breeze ruffled her red hair, caressing her cheeks and she brushed a stray strand out of her face. She knew that it would probably be a good idea for her to get inside; she knew of just how vulnerable Numbers were after dark. While she was only half-Japanese, she still identified herself as a Number; not to mention, she wasn't exactly _supposed_ to be outside as it was.

One year had gone by since the failed attempt at the Black Rebellion. One year had gone by since the supposed 'execution' of Zero. One year had gone by since Kallen had discovered the shocking truth; that Zero, the man that she admired and respected, the man that created the Black Knights, was none other than the exiled prince and former classmate of hers—Lelouch vi Britannia.

She had been in shock when the traitor Suzaku Kururugi had revealed that Zero was Lelouch on Kamine Island. Shocked and angry, angry that Lelouch would keep such a thing from the Black Knights; that he had _used_ them. However, her views changed a bit when C.C. came to her, after Lelouch's capture and the Black Rebellion ended up failure, and explained the truth. That he kept his identity a secret because he _knew_ that the Black Knights would have never trusted him and would never have accepted him as their leader if they knew that not only was he Britannian but he was also an exiled prince.

She had then pointed out something that Kallen hadn't thought of.

 _"You respect and admire Zero and yet Zero and Lelouch are the same person and have always been the same person. Now that you know the truth, do you no longer respect and admire Zero?"_

Kallen had to admit that she still admired and respected Zero but she couldn't find it in herself to feel the same way toward Lelouch. A small part of her mind knew that it was stupid of her to try and see Zero and Lelouch as two different people but that was how Kallen felt.

One year had gone by since Lelouch's capture and the Black Knights, under C.C.'s leadership, had finally put together a plan to get Zero back. They had discovered that Lelouch had been returned to Ashford Academy, though C.C. wouldn't explain how she knew, and so they were planning on getting him back. Their plan involved staging an attack on Babel Tower, where C.C. found out that Lelouch would be heading to in a week—again, no one knew just _how_ she got this information and she refused to say—and then ensuring that C.C. and Lelouch were reunited.

Kallen didn't know why C.C. insisted that getting Lelouch to her was priority. She only said that it would help in the long run.

However, while they were planning this operation, it became clear that Britannia was still hunting them when they launched a surprise attack on the Black Knights that resulted in the arrest of Kyoshiro Tohdoh, Nagisa Chiba, Shinichiro Tamaki, and Kaname Ohgi, as well as many other Black Knights.

That was a clear problem in their plan.

They had another problem.

Just how were they going to get C.C. and Lelouch back together?

That was what the rest of the Core of the Black Knights were discussing when Kallen decided that she needed some fresh air. They hadn't come to a decision when she left and she was sure that they were still undecided.

She knew it was dangerous to be wandering around the Tokyo Settlement, mostly because her face was printed on many Wanted posters that hung on the walls of the settlement, but she had still gone. It wasn't as if she wasn't armed; she had her knife on her and she knew how to take care of herself.

She paused in the middle of the park, frowning and her hand went to the small wallet in which she kept her knife when she heard a noise behind her. She gripped it and the knife ejected; her eyes narrowed as she listened for the sound again but there was nothing. She frowned but didn't relax as she started moving again, pretending that she was just an oblivious girl who had no idea that someone was following her.

She heard the noise again and jumped before whirling around but couldn't see anything but the trees that swayed gently in the warm breeze. She frowned to herself, relaxing her hand slightly. _Must've been the wind,_ she thought and turned around, only to jump back, her knife in her hand in an instant when she caught sight of the large burly man standing behind her.

"Well, well, pretty girls like you shouldn't be wandering 'round in the dark," the burly man said with a lecherous grin as he strode forward.

"Stay back," Kallen warned, tightening her grip on her knife.

"Feisty, ain't ya? Well, we're gonna need some girls like ya. Clients like 'em feisty," the man said.

Kallen's eyes widened marginally as she realized what this man was implying and she quickly looked for an escape route, only to find that three more men had joined the first and completely surrounded her.

She was trapped.

 _Damn it! How did I get into this mess?_ Kallen scolded herself furiously as she tried to figure out a way out of this mess. She tightened her grip and prepared to attack. If she could take out one of these men before the others could grab her, she might be able to make a break for it.

She jumped, aiming her knife for the neck of the one in front of her. For being as big as he was, he was fast; he dodged and Kallen's knife only managed to nick his neck before he grabbed her arm and twisted it. She cried out in pain as she was forced to drop her knife before she was thrown back into the circle of men.

The burly man kicked the knife away, one hand resting on the cut on his neck. "Looks like we're gonna have to tame you, bitch," he said coolly, striding forward and Kallen scrambled back, only to find herself bumping into the legs of the man behind her. The man behind her grabbed her arms and yanked her to her feet but Kallen was not going to give in without a fight.

She started struggling, trying to kick the man where it hurt but he just lifted her off her feet. Her struggling was starting to tire her out but Kallen kept moving, glad that she didn't get tired that easily.

"Oy! Quit fighting, ya bitch," the man in front of her snarled.

Kallen responded by kicking him in the stomach. _Damn. I was aiming for his groin,_ she thought as the man staggered back a little, one hand going to his stomach. He glared at her and raised his hand as if to slap her.

"Tsk, tsk. You were only left alone for maybe five minutes," a very familiar, apathetic voice said and Kallen's eyes widened as C.C. walked calmly out of the shadows, her green hair falling over her shoulders and her golden eyes fixed emotionlessly on the four men.

The burly man, who had gotten his breath back by this time, grinned lecherously at C.C. "Oh, you're just as pretty as she is. Two new girls? I think the boss will be happy," he said and pointing to two of his men. "Grab her."

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," C.C. said calmly.

"Shut up, bitch," one of the burly man's men snapped and strode over to C.C., reaching out to grab her.

She remained unconcerned, unfazed. "I warned you," she said and grabbed the man's arm.

The man froze, his eyes went wide and then he began screaming, jerking his hand out of C.C.'s grip and grabbing his head, falling to his knees as he continued to scream. The second man stared at his companion, eyes wide and, when C.C. stepped toward him, he bolted in the opposite direction.

"Get back here, ya coward!" The burly man shouted but the man just kept running.

C.C. calmly walked forward and gazed at the man who was holding Kallen while Kallen was staring at the screaming man that was now sobbing, trembling, and curled into a fetal position. "Let her go," C.C. said calmly.

The man holding Kallen swallowed and then let Kallen go before bolting while Kallen rubbed her arms, wincing as her fingers ran over her arms. She was sure they were going to bruise.

"Damn it! You coward, get back here!" the burly man shouted and then whirled around to glare at C.C. and lunged toward her, intent on grabbing her. She calmly grabbed him when he got close enough and he froze before he started screaming and grabbing at his head, falling to the ground and adopting the same position as the first man that C.C. had grabbed.

C.C. turned to gaze at Kallen who was staring in horror at the screaming man and then at C.C. "We should leave," C.C. said.

"W…What did you do to them?" Kallen demanded.

C.C. didn't respond right away. Instead, she walked over to where Kallen's wallet had been kicked and picked it up, tucking the knife out of sight and tossing the wallet at the red-head. She caught it and repeated her question.

"I simply showed them a very _shocking_ image," C.C. said calmly and turned to face Kallen, adding, "Let's go."

Kallen frowned at C.C. as the green-haired woman walked away and quickly hurried after her. She realized that if C.C. hadn't showed up, it was very likely that she would have been dragged into the business that those men were obviously part of; she suspected it had to do with prostitution and shuddered at the very thought of being forced to be part of that.

 _She saved me,_ she thought. "Thank you," she said.

C.C. cast a sidelong glance at her and shrugged dismissively. "I've come up with something that may enable me to get close to Lelouch," she said as they entered the secret entrance to the current base of the Black Knights.

"What is it?" Kallen asked.

C.C. stopped and turned to face Kallen. "I have a favor to ask of you," she said.

Kallen frowned but, since C.C. did save her and she kind of did owe her, she said, "All right. I do owe you one. What's the favor?"

When she saw the smile that crossed C.C.'s lips, a smile that reminded her very much of Milly when she got into one of her moods, Kallen felt a chill go down her spine.

She had a very bad feeling she wasn't going to like what C.C. had in mind.

 **. . .**

 **A/n what do you think?**

 **Blaze: I know this might not _exactly_ fit what happens in Turn 1 of R2 and might feel incomplete but I did my best**

 **Kallen: you want me to what?!**

 **C.C.: (smirks) exactly as I said and you did say you owe me one**

 **Kallen: damn you**

 **Blaze: well, I hope that you like it and reviews, as always, are much appreciated.**


	2. The Complexity of Role Reversals

**This idea came about simply because I've read both role-reversal _Code Geass_ stories and Immortal! Lelouch stories before and decided to try my hand at writing one for each of these so I decided on the brilliant idea! Combine the two and...well...the characters kinda took the idea and ran away with it. Heehee.**

 **Anyway, this is basically just a series of drabbles introducing the characters in their new roles and touching on scenes that I hope to include in the finished project when I start writing this story. Even though no names are used, it really won't be that hard to figure out who's roles were switched with who's.**

 **Also, yeah, I know, stupid title. Give me a break. I wrote and posted this at three in the morning. You're lucky it even _has_ a title.**

 **Hope you enjoy it and reviews, as always, are much appreciated.**

 **. . .**

 **2**

 **The Complexity of Role Reversals**

 **. . .**

 **Genre:** adventure/drama

 **Rating:** PG 13

 **Summary:** Caught in the midst of chaos, there be a Code Bearer, a vengeful prince, a determined rebel, an uninjured princess, a Geass-user, and an apathetic traveler.

 **Main Characters:** Lelouch vi Britannia, Suzaku Kururugi, Shirley Fenette, Nunnally vi Britannia, Kallen Kozuki, C.C.

 **Setting:** non-canon, Alternate Universe,

 **. . .**

 _The Code Bearer_

He hated it there. He really did. The sterile white environment, the Japanese scientists wandering to and fro, writing on their tablets and talking to each other in their own language, and the tests, _especially_ the tests.

After only having the Code for about four months now—and a month at the time he was captured—he wasn't used to the regeneration ability that came from it. And he most certainly did not like that he was becoming _very_ familiar with that ability thanks to the ruthless, heartless bastard scientists.

This all happened because he wanted to protect his little sister. His little sister had frozen with terror when she was attacked and he had done the only thing he could think of doing. He knew he would survive and, at the very least, he could give his little sister time to get away.

He was not expecting the Japanese to witness him regenerating and coming back to life but then there was no set time for how long a Code Bearer took to regenerate after all. Frankly, he was figuring things out as he went since a certain witch hadn't really explained to him all that he needed to know before she left.

Damn witch.

Either way, that was the reason why he was in this predicament.

When he wasn't being tested on, he was often left alone with his thoughts and, more often than not, his thoughts would drift; to his little sister, to the remaining members of his family, even to the Japanese prince he'd, surprisingly to everyone even himself, become friends with.

And it would also look into the conflict between Imperial Japan and the fallen Britannian Empire.

It wasn't as if Britannia had given up. Oh, no, the Britannian Royal Family and the members of the Britannian military that hadn't been killed were much too stubborn and prideful to give up that easily. He'd done his best to help out, though he mostly kept out of the fights themselves; he was more of a commander and a tactician than a fighter after all. That was why he was the main strategist for the Resistance while the other was attempting to gather allies in the EU.

At least until he was captured.

He wondered if his family even knew he was still alive. He doubted it. He never got around to telling them that he was immortal; then again, he wasn't even sure he wanted them to know. The witch had only ever told those she entered into a contract with after all.

He would tell his little sister though. He never kept anything from his little sister.

If only he knew whether his little sister was safe or not.

 **. . .**

 _The Vengeful Prince_

It was hard to watch. It was really hard to just sit back and be forced to watch the oppression of a people that had done nothing wrong, of watching the Brits, as the Japanese had taken to calling the Britannians soon after conquering them, being harassed and beaten down because of their lineage.

It was even harder knowing that he could do nothing to stop it.

It hurt to think that his own father was the one behind this atrocity and, not only that, but was behind the death of a large score of the Britannian Royal Family, some of which he had become very close friends with. He had spent almost a year in Britannia before the invasion studying and learning about Britannian customs and its culture at the behest of his father.

He had never thought that his father would actually pull such a stunt and attempt to seize control of a nation that was easily one of the three largest nations in the world.

And he certainly hadn't expected it to succeed.

But then his father did have the backing of the entire Chinese Federation and, not only that, but they were able to steal the schematics to the mecha units that Britannia were coming up with and, with the Chinese Federation's help, had succeed in building and mass-producing them _before_ Britannia could.

The mechas, known as knightmares according to the stolen schematics, and both the knightmares and the Chinese Federation's army had been enough to completely subdue and conquer the nation of Britannia.

At the cost of hundreds of thousands of lives, many of them innocents who just so happened to get caught in the crossfire or were deemed too dangerous to be kept alive, like the Royal Family.

He supposed that was when he started hating his father. Perhaps hate was too strong a word but he could think of no other word to describe the feelings that had manifested upon learning of what his father had done to Britannia. Of the deaths that were on his hands, including the deaths of his close friends.

However, his father had underestimated the pride and stubbornness of the Britannian military and the surviving members of the Royal Family and, thus, the conquered nation were still constantly attempting to fight back. These rebels were considered terrorists in the eyes of the Japanese and yet he had learned that a large percentage of the non-rebel Britannians supported them, many in secret or simply vocally.

He mused that he really wasn't that surprised that Britannia was not taking their defeat lightly. While they may have retreated to lick their wounds, they were still fighting to free their country from an unjust ruler who took it from them through brutal force.

At first, he hadn't supported the terrorists, hadn't thought that their actions would ever change things, believing that it was possible to change things through peaceful attempts. He had thought that it was possible because he had believed that his father was the same reasonable man he grew up with and would be willing to listen to negotiations.

He had underestimated just how far his father had been corrupted by the absolute power he had obtained upon gaining control of a third of the world and having the support and firepower of another third of the world. This was revealed to him when an ambassador from the Britannian Royal Family had come hoping to negotiate a cease of hostilities and establish a treaty that would restore Britannia's independence.

Not only did his father reject the idea but, later, the ambassador never quite made it back to Britannia in one piece. As an example of what he would do to those who attempted to go against his rule, whether peacefully or not, his father had sent the head of the ambassador back to the surviving members of the Royal Family. He had only learned about what his father had done through a talkative guard who didn't agree with what his father had done.

And it was in that moment that he realized his father had fallen into the darkness of corruption. He had become a power-hungry, ruthless tyrant.

And it was at that moment that he realized he did not want to follow a father who was like that.

 **. . .**

 _The Determined Rebel_

She hated seeing her people suffer. She hated having to keep her head down and avoid making eye contact with the many Japanese people, noble and commoner alike, that looked down on her because of her heritage. She hated having to return to a dingy little home and listen to her mother cry herself to sleep each night and her father slave away at a worthless job just to put food on the table.

She just hated everything the Japanese had done.

She had learned about the rebellion through a friend she had made among the ruined portions of the former capital of Britannia, Pendragon. He had stated that he had the intention of joining the rebellion, stating that, after losing his family to the Japanese, he wanted to see to it that his parents' dreams were realized.

He was only fifteen at the time.

She didn't really think that he stood a chance at being allowed to join. What rebellion would allow a fifteen-year-old teenager to join?

True to her thoughts, he hadn't been allowed to join. But he told her that they hadn't said no right away. They told him to come back when he was seventeen since, by then, he would be old and mature enough to make his own decisions.

He then asked her if she wanted to join.

She had said that she would think about it. Her decision was made for her when she came home to learn that her father had been killed by his Japanese employer and, only a day later, her mother had succumbed to her grief entirely and committed suicide.

With nothing left to return to, and wanting to avenge what happened to her father that led to the loss of her mother, she told her friend that she would join.

As with him, she was told to return when she was seventeen and she vowed that she would.

 **. . .**

 _The Uninjured Princess_

She remembered the day she lost her brother. It had happened so suddenly. She had just been in the marketplace, getting some groceries while attempting to keep a low profile since the Japanese Emperor's 'kill on sight' order that was targeted at any and all members of the Royal family was still in effect. She had already lost so many of her half-siblings because of the orchestrated assassinations that preceded the invasion and because of the 'kill on sight' order that followed.

Once, she had over a hundred half-siblings and her full-brother.

Now she was down to ten.

Nine half-siblings and her full-brother.

She had a wig on and was trying to avoid eye contact with anyone. Despite her age when the invasion began, the Japanese seemed to know what the surviving members of the Royal Family looked like. That was what her big half-sister and full-brother had said, which was why her full-brother had been so hesitant about letting her out of his sight.

She had assured him that she would take precautions but he still insisted on going with her.

She had agreed but both of them had compromised and went out in disguises.

It hadn't been her fault that her identity was revealed. She was just trying to get some food for the small house that she and her full-brother lived in together when her full-brother wasn't helping out with her big half-sister's rebellion. But then someone who loved to beat on Britannians, and her features were notably Britannian even if she was able to hide her royal heritage, decided to attack her.

The Japanese woman had succeeded in knocking her to the ground and knocking off her wing.

And, unfortunately, some Japanese soldiers who normally patrolled the marketplace had noticed and recognized her right away.

She had frozen up when they came to her, telling her that, by order of the Emperor, she was to be sentenced to death. She had wanted to run away, she could have run down the alley and been out of the city before they could catch her, but she had frozen up.

And it had cost her the person she held most dear.

When the Japanese soldier went to stab her with his sword, her full-brother had thrown himself between her and the blade.

She could still remember her brother's cry of pain, feel her brother's warm blood splash onto her face, watch as blood seeped out of the wound as he toppled to lay motionless on the ground, her heart-wrenching scream of horror and agony echoing around her.

 **. . .**

 _The Geass-user_

She didn't know exactly why she had been approached but, one day, a strange young man had come to her and told her that she had been chosen to join in the Japanese Emperor's Royal Guard due to her piloting skills. She had readily accepted the position since that was one of the highest positions anyone could get. Her brother was very proud of her when she told him the news.

She was surprised when the same man who gave her the news also told her that she was to be given something else, if she was willing to enter into a contract with him.

She didn't understand what he meant but he told her that he would grant her a power and, in return, she will help him fulfill his greatest wish. He told her that the power would help her do her duties to the Emperor by making her an unstoppable force on the battlefield. She, determined to be just that, agreed.

She was not expecting to be able to be able to create a mental map of whichever location she was at, nor did she expect to be able to track people so long as she knew who they were. It was, basically, for that reason that the Emperor had her on the frontlines because she was able to find perfect spots for ambushes and the like. She was also given tasks of tracking down criminals and traitors; all she needed was to know their name and their picture and, as a result, had become the Emperor's personal tracker.

She could not be prouder.

She spent most of her time in Japan, helping out with the military stationed on the islands or seeking out traitors and criminals under orders from the Emperor.

While she would much rather be on the frontlines, in her personal knightmare frame, she did find a sense of justice in bringing in criminals and traitors who wished to sow chaos in the Japanese society. Her brother, who had practically raised her after their parents were killed by Japanese traitors, had raised her with a sense of justice and she was glad to help get traitors and criminalsoff the streets.

 **. . .**

 _The Apathetic Traveler_

She knew that it was because of him that her wish had changed. When she had first set out to find a contractor after being tricked into taking the Code, she had been set on her wish being for someone to grant her death. While that was still her wish, after spending a couple of years with him as a contractor, she began to realize what else she wanted.

She wanted to die but she wanted to die as a human.

She wanted to live as a human again, explore the world, visit places she never got to visit before, and, eventually, die of old age.

He had granted her wish by taking her Code.

Now she could do all that she wanted to do. Now that she was mortal, she could be granted the death that she wanted, at a ripe old age while enjoying the mortal life she had been granted back.

Even as she traveled, though, she did keep appraised of the events that were going on in the world, especially the recent conflict between Imperial Japan and the fallen Britannian Empire. She did keep an occasional eye on her former contractor but that was all she did.

He would need to learn to walk on his own as a Code Bearer. She couldn't hold his hand for him anymore; he had understood that, though that didn't make him any less unwilling to let her leave. They had become close friends during the time he had been her contractor and she would admit that a small part of her did feel something for him, something that was more than friendship.

Perhaps that was why it hurt so much to leave him.

She had always been rather apathetic toward a lot of things, her relationship with her contractor was just one of those things. And yet, he had somehow managed to penetrate the wall she had built around her heart after so many centuries of watching old lovers grow old and die while she lived on.

When she gave him her Code, she knew that she was condemning him to a life of solitude, forced to watch as those he loves grows old and die around him, at least until he passes on the Code himself. But he had been willing to accept it, stating that, at least, he would be able to remain with his family, even if he would have to watch them grow up while he forever remained seventeen.

He even told her that he had promised her and he didn't want to break his promises and they did have a contract.

Granted, she hadn't exactly told him what her wish was until it was too late and, while he had been irritated by that, he had eventually accepted that she just wanted to be free from the curse of immortality.

He may be seen as selfish at times but she knew that he could be very selfless when he wanted to be, even more so when it came to the people that he cared about. He admitted that he would do whatever he must, even giving his own life, if it meant keeping his family, in particular his little sister, safe.

Looking back in the direction of the country she had left on the day she gave away her Code, she knew, without a doubt, that things weren't going to be easy for either the Japanese or the Britannians. They were already engulfed in the throes of chaos and the storm between Imperial Japan and the Britannian resistance was only going to grow stronger and more dangerous with each passing day.

And when the winds finally settled, no one knew just who would emerge victorious.

 **. . .**

 **A/n what do you think?**

 **Blaze: well, that's just an idea. It will probably be a heck of a lot more complex and probably will end up being altered by the time I actually sit down and write it, since that's just the way my writing always ends up between drafts**

 **Bakura: usually**

 **Blaze: yeah, usually. I hope you enjoyed this newest addition to _The Tales of Geass_ and, please, be on the lookout to the full-length novel that is based on this idea**

 **Bakura: you moron. You probably won't have it up until June of next year**

 **Blaze: actually, considering I'm going to start writing it later today and, if I'm motivated enough, I might actually finish it within a few months like I did with _Divergence_**

 **Bakura: tch, considering how complex the idea you're coming up with is, it's probably going to be as long as _Rise of the Black King_ currently is**

 **Blaze: well, that's a definite possibility. Either way, I hope you enjoyed this and reviews, as always, are much appreciated**


	3. Things I Must Never Do In Britannia

**Heh, first time I've updated this collection within the span of only a couple of days but, this time, it's a humor/parody collection of drabbles that I thought up after reading so many (insert number here) Things I'm Not Allowed to do in (insert fandom place here) stories.**

 _ **These are NOT meant to be taken seriously!**_

 **I cannot stress this enough. There will likely be OOCness, though I tried to keep the characters at least, somewhat, in character. But that is the reason why this is a _parody_.**

 **Anyway, I hope you enjoy it and I hope that it gets at least a few laughs out of you. Reviews, as always, are much appreciated.**

 **. . .**

 **3**

 **Things I Must Never Do In Britannia**

 **. . .**

 **Genre:** humor/parody

 **Rating:** PG 13 (but most likely PG)

 **Summary:** Things one should never do in Britannia. To bad everyone's going to do them anyway.

 **Main Characters:** varies

 **Setting:** varies (skips quite a bit around R1 and R2)

 _ **Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight, Barbie Girl, Marco Polo, and Post-It Notes_

 **. . .**

 **1**

 _I will not have Suzaku cat-sit_

The Clubhouse ended up getting a little bug problem so it was decided that the place would be fumigated and everyone had to leave it for a few hours while the poison did its job. However, Milly decided that it would be too dangerous to let Arthur remain in the clubhouse and so decided that he would just have to remain with a Student Council member for the next few hours.

Unfortunately, only one person could do it.

Milly had to scare off another nobleman's son.

Lelouch and Nunnally were spending the next couple of hours with Shirley and her parents because they lived in the Clubhouse and couldn't stay there.

Shirley's parents were allergic to cats.

Rivalz was working

Nina's parents hated cats.

That meant that only Suzaku could watch Arthur.

Thankfully, Lloyd and Cecile were fine with having the feline run around the office, so long as they kept the door close and he didn't go near the machinery.

"Never again," Suzaku said to the rest of the Student Council later that day when everyone returned to the bug-free clubhouse. His face and hands were covered with several Band-Aids from the various scratches and bites and he was currently attempting to remove Arthur whose teeth were lodged in his ankle.

 **2**

 _I will not bet against Lelouch in one of his chess matches_

"Umm, is Rivalz okay?" Suzaku asked, looking at Rivalz who was curled up in the corner, an aura of depression surrounding him.

Milly glanced toward Rivalz and then shrugged. "He bet his entire paycheck that the nobleman who challenged Lelouch to a chess match would win," she said.

Suzaku sweatdropped and shook his head. Even he knew not to do something like that.

 **3**

 _Likewise, I will not bet against Schneizel in one of his chess matches_

"What the heck's wrong with him?" Luciano asked, pointing at Gino who was curled in the corner, surrounded by a thick aura of depression.

Anya looked up from her phone and looked over at the moping Gino and shrugged. "He bet a large chunk of his family's fortune that Prince Schneizel would lose his chess match against Lord Hartman earlier today," she said indifferently.

"Tch, moron," Luciano huffed.

 **4**

 _I will not ask Luciano Bradley why he doesn't sparkle in the sunlight_

"Gah, just because I'm called the Vampire of Britannia does not mean that I'm one of them gay sparkly Cullens!" Luciano shouted angrily, glaring around the room and at the brown-haired culprit who had asked that question.

Said brown-haired culprit was currently flattened against the wall, eyeing the furious Vampire of Britannia, and mentally cursing the terms of the bet he lost to Gino.

Speaking of Gino, the blonde Knight of Three was snickering as he watched the enraged Luciano curse and rage that he wasn't a gay sparkly vampire.

 **5**

 _I will not call V.V. a brocon_

Schneizel eyed the man that was curled in a fetal position nearby, sobbing and trembling violently, mumbling apologies over and over again. He then turned his gaze to the Emperor and raised an eyebrow. "Do I want to know?"

Emperor Charles just sweatdropped. "No, no you do not."

 **6**

 _I will not introduce Euphemia to the Internet_

"So you can find anything out on the Internet?" Euphie asked as she logged on to her personal laptop. Her Knight of Honor, Suzaku Kururugi, nodded as he stood at her side.

"Yeah, well, pretty much anything anyway," he said.

"Cool. Then I can finally figure out what _hentai_ means. I mean, I overheard some of the Numbers mention it and I've been curious about it for a while now," Euphie said and began to type in the term in the search engine.

"Yeah, wait, Euphie, no you don't..." Suzaku began, eyes wide in panic but it was too late and the search engine had already started turning out results.

Euphie went bright red, slammed the lid of her laptop shut and shoved it away from her on the desk. She turned to stare at Suzaku who was also bright red.

"..."

"..."

"I am never going on the Internet again," Euphie decided, still as red as a tomato.

 **7**

 _I will not introduce Lelouch and Suzaku to the Suza/Lulu pairing_

"Why did we get stuck cleaning up?" Suzaku asked as he and Lelouch walked around the meeting room, picking up loose pieces of paper and the like.

"Because, in Milly's words, 'you were late so you have to stay later and clean up'," Lelouch said simply, handing Suzaku another piece of paper. "Oh, Nina forgot to turn off her computer."

He walked over to the computer and was about to turn it off when he noticed his name and Suzaku's on the screen. Suzaku had come to his side and both of them read the first paragraph of what was on the screen.

Almost as soon as they did, they both went beet red and Lelouch jammed his finger against the power button of the computer in a hurry.

He and Suzaku avoided the other's eyes.

"Ah...this never happened," Lelouch decided firmly.

"Agreed," Suzaku said.

 **8**

 _I will not give Jeremiah a gift basket filled with oranges_

"Jeremiah!"

Jeremiah turned to find Villetta jogging over to join him, carrying a covered gift basket in her hands. "Yeah, Villetta?" he said.

"This was on the front desk. It said it's for you," Villetta said, holding out the gift basket. "It came with this card." She also handed him the card.

Frowning, Jeremiah took the card and opened it.

 _Dear Orange-boy,_

 _Hope you like the gift._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Zero_

Throwing the card away, Jeremiah ripped the covering over the gift basket and his eyes went wide with outrage and fury when he saw that it was filled to the brim with oranges.

Jeremiah's screech of "ZERO!" could be heard all the way at Ashford Academy.

Lelouch, hearing it, snickered quietly to himself as he went back to working on dinner for Nunnally, reassuring Nunnally that it was probably nothing when she questioned why someone was yelling for the masked terrorist.

 **9**

 _I will not paint the Lancelot pink_

"Oh the horror! Who could do this to you, my poor, poor baby?" Lloyd cried, staring aghast at the hot-pink _Lancelot_ that stood in all its pink glory in the hangar bay.

The Knight of Three, Suzaku, stared at the knightmare and then turned to Cecile. "Um, we can get it off, right?" he asked.

"Unfortunately, we've tried. It won't come off," Cecile said with a sweatdrop.

Suzaku's head thudded hard against the wall.

As a result of this, Suzaku's moniker of White Knight had been changed to Pink Knight.

He silently cursed the bastard who somehow managed to paint the _Lancelot_ pink.

 **10**

 _I will never steal C.C.'s pizza_

Zero made his way into the conference room of the Black Knight's headquarters on Hokai Island and looked around, frowning when he noticed that he was missing a member of his Core. "Where's Tamaki?" he asked.

"Ah..." Ohgi pointed out the window and Zero walked over to the window, sweatdropping when he saw Tamaki tied to a pole in nothing both his polka dot boxers with a sign hanging over his head that read: _Don't touch my pizza!_

Zero sighed as he turned to the rest of his Core. "C.C. certainly can be very creative when it comes to payback," he mused

 **11**

 _I will not give Charles a "Worst Father of the Year/Millennium" award_

"So, we meet again, Lelouch," Charles said as Suzaku slammed Lelouch down, pinning him before the Emperor.

"Hey, dear ol' pops," Lelouch greeted him. "By the way, before we go on, there's something I want to give you."

"Oh?" Charles raised an eyebrow as he gazed at his son, who also happened to be an incredibly dangerous and annoying obstacle at the moment. "And what is that?"

"Well, if you'd let Suzaku let me up, I'd give it to you," Lelouch said.

Suzaku glared at him, as if to tell him that he wasn't going to let him up. Tch, it was as if he was afraid Lelouch would run.

Even if Lelouch could run, he had virtually no stamina whatsoever so Suzaku really wouldn't be hard-pressed to catch him.

"Fine, fine," Charles said, apparently his curiosity got the better of him. "Let him up."

Still eyeing him, Suzaku did as he was told and Lelouch sat up before removing the card he'd made a long time ago—and had on him on the off chance that he would get to meet up with the Emperor—and held it to the Emperor.

Charles frowned but got up and walked over to take it. He opened it up and read it, eyes widening in outrage.

It read:

" _Award for Worst Father of the Millennium goes to Charles "_ _the_ _Bastard" zi Britannia._ "

"That's it! You are so getting Geassed! Kururugi, cover his left eye," Charles shouted, throwing the card away and glaring at Lelouch.

"It was so worth it," Lelouch said with a grin right before he was Geassed by the Emperor.

 **12**

 _I will not introduce Cornelia to the Suzaku/Euphemia pairing_

Cecile blinked in confusion when she pulled the chair away from Lloyd's desk only to find Suzaku curled up beneath there, shivering in terror. "Um, Suzaku, are you okay?" she asked.

" _Warrant Officer Kururugi_!" A screech of fury sounded nearby and Cecile glanced up to find a furious Princess Cornelia with her sidearm in her hands and a murderous look in her eyes. " _If you so much as_ look _at Euphie the wrong way, I will_ _personally tear you to pieces with my knightmare!_ "

A little whimper escaped the lips of the terrified _Lancelot_ pilot.

Taking pity on the poor boy, Cecile pushed the chair back in front of the desk to hide the poor boy out of sight and, when asked by Princess Cornelia, told her that she hadn't seen him.

 **13**

 _Likewise, I will not introduce Lelouch to the Suzaku/Nunnally pairing_

When Lelouch stumbled upon a link to a story involving Suzaku and Nunnally in a romantic sense, it took all of the Student Council dogpiling him to keep him from ripping Suzaku's head off, or try to anyway since he lacked the strength necessary to actually pull something like that off. That didn't stop the vicious death glares he was giving Suzaku from terrifying the brunet Japanese boy.

Said brunet was curled up in the corner, trembling violently at the death glares he was receiving from his friend, thinking _Overprotective Older Sibling Syndrome must really become a genuine genetic disorder._

 **14**

 _I will not think the "I know a song that gets on your nerves" song in Mao's presence_

 _I know a song that gets on_ _your nerves, gets on your nerves, gets on your nerves. I know a song that gets on your nerves and this is how it goes. I know a song that gets on your nerves, gets on your nerves, gets on your nerves. I know a song that gets on your nerves and this is how it goes._

"GAH! STOP IT! STOP THINKING THAT SONG!" Mao shrieked, clutching at his head as he backed away from Lelouch who was smirking demonically as he continued to think the lyrics to that annoying song.

Eventually, Mao couldn't take it anymore and bolted out of the chapel, screaming.

"Do I wanna know?" Suzaku asked, glancing at Lelouch who just smirked, which answered Suzaku's question very well.

 **15**

 _I will not dye Jeremiah's hair orange_

Yawning, Jeremiah stumbled out of the shower, grabbing a towel and beginning to dry his hair, pausing when he noticed something was off. He looked at the towel to find that it was covered in what looked like orange hair dye.

Starting, he turned to look at the mirror and stared when he found that his turquoise hair had been dyed orange.

Swearing, he grabbed the shampoo bottle, only to find that it had been replaced by orange hair dye and there was a note tied to it.

Yanking the note off the bottle, he read it to himself, shaking with rage at what was written on the piece of paper.

 _Dear Orange-boy,_

 _I felt this look suited you better, Orange-boy._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Zero_

Jeremiah's screech of "ZERO" was, naturally, heard all the way at Ashford Academy.

Lelouch, who was in the middle of cooking breakfast for Nunnally, openly laughed at the yell while Nunnally tilted her head to the side. "Why's someone yelling for Zero again, Big Brother?" she asked.

Calming his laughter down, Lelouch reached over to ruffle Nunnally's hair. "It's probably nothing like last time," he said, still grinning in amusement to himself.

 **16**

 _Likewise, I will not dye Suzaku's hair pink_

Suzaku stepped out of the shower and grabbed the nearest towel, drying his face and going on to dry his hair. He blinked when he noticed something was off and removed the towel from his head, staring at the pink hair dye that stained it.

Whirling around to the mirror behind him, he stared at his hair, which had been dyed a very hot pink—matching the new paint job on his knightmare—and quickly reached for the shampoo bottle. He glanced at it, or rather the hot pink hair dye that had replaced it, and at the paper that was attached to it.

He removed it and read it to himself, eye twitching as he did so.

 _Dear Suzaku, a.k.a the Pink Knight_

 _I figured that it would suit you better if you matched your knightmare frame._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Zero_

Suzaku's screech of "ZERO!" could be heard all the way at Ashford Academy.

C.C. turned to Lelouch at the scream and saw him laughing as he happily sorted through the papers on his desk. "...Why?" C.C. asked finally.

"Revenge," Lelouch said with large demonic grin dominating his face.

 **17**

 _I will not e-mail pictures of Villetta in that skimpy silver bikini to Ohgi_

It was during the daily meeting with the rest of the Core that Ohgi decided to check his e-mail while they waited for everyone to show up. Zero was already there, seated at the head of the table and looking at some papers and they were just waiting for Kallen, Tohdoh, and Tamaki to show up.

Blinking when he noticed an e-mail from an unknown sender, Ohgi warily clicked on it, since it hadn't gone to junk so it might be important.

Of course, he was unprepared for the picture that met his eyes.

He quickly covered his nose when it started to bleed and darted out of the room at breakneck speed, running Tamaki over as he did so.

"What was that about?" Tohdoh wondered, watching Ohgi take off.

"No idea," Kallen said.

"Owwww!" Tamaki, who was on the ground with footprints on his face from where Ohgi had stepped on him in his haste to get out of the meeting room, groaned.

 **18**

 _I will not play soccer in the hangar bay of the Black Knights' headquarters_

 _Crash!_

"Ow! _What the hell?_!" Lelouch exclaimed, clutching at his head since he was unmasked while in the safety of his office at the Black Knight's headquarters. He glared at the soccer ball that had come sailing through his office's window and, grabbing both the soccer ball and his helmet, he slipped on the latter and poked his head out the remains of the window to glare at the guilty party gathered below him.

"Who did it?" he demanded.

"Tamaki!" Everyone shouted, pointing at Tamaki.

"Tamaki! You're demoted to bathroom duty for a month," Lelouch ordered.

"Not again," Tamaki whined.

 **19**

 _Likewise, I will not play soccer in the Viceroy's Palace_

Everyone winced when the soccer ball slammed right into Cornelia's face before falling to the ground. The shock on Cornelia's face morphed into fury. "Who kicked that ball?" she demanded.

There was a long moment of silence as everyone stared in terror at the furious Witch of Britannia.

"Claudio did it!" Alfred Darlton shouted, pointing at Claudio.

"You traitor!" Claudio Darlton cried.

 **20**

 _I will not have the "Barbie Girl" song as my ringtone_

" _I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world. Life is plastic, it's fantastic..._ "

The instant that song started blaring out of someone's phone, a loud series of _thud_ swas heard and the entire class turned to find Lelouch banging his head against his desk.

"Not again! I _just_ got that damn song out my head!" he exclaimed in frustration.

 **21**

 _I will not see how many people can fit into a knightmare cockpit_

Andreas Darlton resisted the urge to facepalm as he stared at the mass of humans that occupied the cockpit of his son Edgar's knightmare. He noticed that not only where all five of his adopted sons in there but also the Knight of Three Gino Weinberg and the Knight of Seven Suzaku Kururugi.

"The answer's seven," Edgar's voice sounded somewhere in the mass of humans.

"...I don't even want to know how seven of you managed to get in there," Andreas said finally.

"What I want to know is how are we all gonna get out?" Suzaku, who sounded like he was somewhere near the back of the entire group, said.

 **22**

 _I will not play Marco Polo on the_ Avalon

"Marco!" Gino shouted, darting around the _Avalon_ while blindfolded.

"Polo!" The person who called 'Polo' was to the right of him and Gino darted in the direction but the person who'd called Polo had already darted out of his way.

"Marco," he called again as he turned around.

"Polo!"

Gino darted in the direction, only to yelp as he found himself slipping on the top step of a flight of stairs and he ended up tumbling down the flight of stairs to land in a heap on top of someone.

"I suppose this means I'm it," Anya's disinterested voice sounded beneath him. "Now get off."

"Oh, ah, right," Gino said rapidly and scrambled off the pink-haired Knight of Six.

 **23**

 _I will not lose a bet to Milly_

Kallen hated this. She really did.

She was currently dressed in a cat costume, complete with paws, a tail attached to her rear, and cat ears on her head, and was crawling around the ballroom floor, meowing and pretending that she was a cat. And this was only because she'd lost a bet to Milly.

She still had no idea how Milly managed to convince Lelouch to dress up as a princess for the annual Cross Dressing Ball that she held.

She also had no idea why Milly decided that she would do this. No, wait, it was probably just to gather blackmail.

"Aww, look at the pretty kitty," Milly said with a grin as she snapped a few pictures.

 _You suck_ was what Kallen wanted to say but she just growled very convincingly.

Milly just laughed.

"I'm not even going to ask why Kallen's pretending to be a cat. She does make a convincing cat though," Lelouch's voice said and Kallen, still crawling around, cast a look over her shoulder to find the exiled prince, her leader, and also fellow Student Council member, standing in the doorway watching in bemusement.

 _I swear, if you laugh..._ She thought.

Lelouch's lips quirked and he snickered in amusement.

 _Oh that does it!_ Kallen crawled over to Lelouch and meowed at him.

Lelouch's eyebrows rose but he then smirked and patted her head as if he was petting a cat.

How did she react?

She bit him...hard!

"Ow!" Lelouch exclaimed, yanking his hand back and glaring at her but she just smiled sweetly back at him and meowed.

 _That was for laughing_ _, Lelouch,_ she thought.

 **24**

 _I will not have silly string fights in the middle of the Black Knights' headquarters_

"What is going on here?" Zero demanded as he swept into the hangar of the Black Knights' headquarters to find that a large chunk of his Core were covered in silly string, holding cans of silly string, and spraying them at each other.

Almost everyone stopped as soon as Zero made an appearance.

Except Tamaki who attempted to hit Kallen with silly string, only for Kallen to dodge and the silly string crashed into Zero's mask.

Tamaki gulped. "Oh, uh, whoops?" he said with a nervous laugh.

If anyone could see Zero's face, they would see his eye twitching before the demonic smirk crossed his lips. He calmly walked over to where the cans of silly string had been placed, picked up two of them, and proceeded to unleash both cans on Tamaki in an instant.

 **25**

 _I will not look up at the ceiling just to see if everyone will do it as well_

Suzaku lowered his head and walked off, snickering quietly to himself when he noticed that every member of the Glaston Knights, Euphie, Major Nu, and even Cornelia were all looking at the ceiling in puzzlement.

 _Lelouch owes me_ _fifty_ _bucks,_ he thought as he walked away.

 **26**

 _I will not lock Lelouch in the same room as his fangirls_

It was days like these that Lelouch was extremely thankful that he had his Geass.

He smirked over his shoulder when the door opened and Milly poked her head in. "Hello Milly," he said.

"Where are the fangirls?" Milly asked.

Lelouch pointed and Milly turned to find all the fangirls were happily braiding each other's hair and completely ignoring Lelouch.

 **27**

 _I will not say Code Yellow to the guards in the Viceroy's Palace just to see what will happen_

In Gino's defense, how was he to know that meant there was an assassin in the palace? He really should've refreshed his memory on what the color-coded codes meant before he'd come to Area 11.

 **28**

 _I will not hide an alarm clock in Lelouch's room set to go off every five minutes_

"Gah, will you shut that damn thing off?!" C.C. shouted as the alarm started ringing loudly throughout the room again.

"I'm trying! I don't know where the hell it is," Lelouch shouted back as he continued to search through his room for the annoying alarm clock.

He didn't find the alarm clock.

He did find a note though.

 _Zero,_

 _Payback for dying my hair pink._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Suzaku_

Lelouch crumpled the note and threw it away, huffing. "Well played, Suzaku, well played," he said and went back to searching for the elusive alarm clock that continued to ring loudly every five minutes.

 **29**

 _I will not hide catnip in the_ Lancelot _'s cockpit_

Suzaku did not know what to make of this.

He stared at the cockpit of the, still unfortunately pink, _Lancelot_ that was currently filled with a large score of cats all purring and rolling around in a large quantity of catnip. "How the hell did this happen?" he exclaimed.

"Oh, this was on the _Lancelot_ by the way. It's addressed to you," Cecile said, holding out an envelope.

Tearing his eyes away from the large group of cats, Suzaku took the envelope and pulled out the letter, reading it to himself, his lips pressed together tightly.

 _Pink Knight,_

 _You do realize that this means war, right?_

 _Sincerely,_

 _Zero_

"Grrr," Suzaku growled, crumpling the letter in his fist. "Oh you are on."

 **30**

 _I will not tell Lelouch's fangirls that he will give a kiss to the first person who catches him_

When he neared the Student Council Clubhouse, Rivalz was greeted by the rather amusing sight of Lelouch hiding in the branches of a tall tree, looking terrified out of his mind. "Ah, what're you doing up there?" he asked smiling.

Lelouch shuddered. "Fangirls," he said.

"Ahhh." Rivalz nodded in agreement. Fangirls were scary.

"Damn you, Suzaku," Lelouch growled under his breath after Rivalz left.

 **31**

 _I will not ask Guinevere if she's having an affair with a guy named Lancelot_

"How did you know?" Guinevere asked in confusion.

"Wait, you are?" Cornelia echoed in shock.

Guinevere shrugged. "Well, I wouldn't exactly call it an affair considering I'm not married but he's a nice guy and noble so it works out," she said.

Everyone just blinked as Guinevere walked off.

 **32**

 _I will not dance in the rain in nothing but my boxers_

In Jeremiah's defense, he was incredibly drunk at the time.

Not to mention, the weatherman never mentioned anything about a rainstorm. He said it would be clear skies all day.

Stupid weatherman.

 **33**

 _I will not videotape someone dancing in the rain in their boxers and post it on the Internet_

"Kewell!" A shriek sounded and Kewell and Villetta looked up to find a furious Jeremiah charging toward them.

"I think he found out about the video you posted of him online," Villetta said. "I would run."

Kewell didn't need to be told twice and bolted as fast as he possibly could in the opposite direction with a furious Jeremiah running after him, shouting curses.

 **34**

 _I will not slide down the staircase railings in the Viceroy's Palace_

Euphie thought it would be fun and it was, right up until she slid off and crashed into her Knight. "Oops, sorry, Suzaku," she said brightly.

"It's okay, my princess," Suzaku said with a light blush on his cheeks since Euphie was straddling him.

" _Suzaku Kururugi!_ " Cornelia, who had just stepped into the entrance hall, shrieked upon seeing the position her sister and her sister's knight were in. Cornelia yanked out her sidearm and Suzaku, as soon as Euphie got off him, bolted in the opposite direction with the Witch of Britannia running after him.

 **35**

 _I will not post Post-It Notes with random words all over the_ Lancelot

"Why must my poor baby be tortured so?" Lloyd cried, staring at the pink _Lancelot_ that was now covered in Post-It Notes, each with a different word on it like pink, knight—these two were close together—moron, pizza, hated, by, cats—these were also close together—and so many others.

Suzaku glared at the number of Post-It notes, clenching the letter in his hands. The letter read:

 _Pink Knight,_

 _Fangirls?_ _R_ _eally? You suck, you know that, moron? Good luck getting all the Post-It_ _No_ _tes off._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Zero_

"Grrr," Suzaku growled again.

 **36**

 _I will not dump pink paint on Kallen_

"Tamaki! _You're dead!_ " A shriek sounded.

"I'm sorry! I was aiming for Yoshida!" Tamaki cried.

Zero watched in bemusement as a terrified Tamaki ran past with a furious Kallen, who was also covered in pink paint, running after him. "Ohgi," he said and Ohgi stepped out of the meeting room to join him.

"Yeah, Zero?" he asked.

"Please go make sure Kallen doesn't kill Tamaki, would you?"

"Ah, sure," Ohgi said and ran after the two.

 **37**

 _I will not build a fort of pillows in the middle of the Student Council meeting room_

Lelouch blinked as he walked into the meeting room, wheeling Nunnally in front of him, when he spotted the fort of pillows that was at the other end of the room, surrounding Nina's computer. "Ah, Nina?" he said uncertainly.

One of the pillows moved and Nina's head poked out. "Oh, hello Lelouch," she greeted him and then vanished back into her fort of pillows.

Lelouch blinked again. "Well, at least I know why yesterday's budget included fifty pillows," he mused.

Nunnally giggled.

 **38**

 _Likewise, I will not build a fort of pillows in the Imperial Palace's throne room_

Bismarck stepped into the throne room and blinked when he spotted the fort of pillows that dominated the corner of the room by the door. He turned to Emperor Charles who was eyeing the pillow fort with exasperation in his eyes. "Ah, may I ask what happened, Your Majesty?" he asked.

"V.V. and Sir Weinberg decided to build a pillow fort and I have no idea why," Charles said.

"I see."

 **39**

 _I will not play hokey in the Black Knights' headquarters_

 _Crash!_

Lelouch's eye twitched as a hockey puck sailed through the recently replaced window and collided with his head. Grabbing the puck, he put his helmet back on and poked his head out of the window. "Tamaki!" he shouted.

"This time, it wasn't me!" Tamaki cried. "It was Yoshida! I swear it!"

"It's not like I meant to hit it that hard," Yoshida protested.

"Grr, Yoshida, you're paying to replace this broke window," Lelouch said firmly.

"With what? We don't get paid doing this," Yoshida said in confusion.

"That's not _my_ problem."

 **40**

 _Likewise, I will not play hokey in the Viceroy's Palace_

Cornelia's eye twitched when the hokey puck collided with it before falling to the floor. "Claudio!" She growled, glaring at the Glaston Knights, and Kururugi, who were gathered in front of her.

"That time, it wasn't me," Claudio exclaimed, holding up his hands.

"Well, who was it?!"

Kururugi was, suspiciously, edging away from the rest of the group.

"Kururugi did it," Claudio said, jamming his finger at Kururugi.

"Kururugi!"

Kururugi was already bolting out of there out of fear for his life.

 **41**

 _I will not fill the Student Council meeting room with stuffed animals_

There were so many stuffed animals in the meeting room that it was impossible to get into the room. Milly just stared at the amount of stuffed animals and then at the council members behind her. "Okay, which one of you did it?" she asked, planting her fists on her hands as she glared at them.

Everyone just looked at her, looking just as confused as she did, except one.

Shirley was trying hard to keep it in but, suddenly, she burst out laughing hysterically.

"Shirley! You did it?" Milly exclaimed.

Shirley was too busy laughing to answer.

 **42**

 _Likewise, I will not fill the Viceroy's Office with stuffed animals_

Cornelia stared at the wall of stuffed animals that was preventing her from getting into the office. "What in the world…?" she said and scowled, whirling around. "Who did this? I want to know who did this now."

Euphie, who was standing at Cornelia's side, could not hide her amusement at the stunned look on her sister's face and started laughing.

"Euphie, you did this?" Cornelia exclaimed.

Euphie wiped the tears of laughter that fell from her eyes. "I just wanted to see what your reaction would be," she said and started laughing again.

Cornelia sighed.

 **43**

 _I will not tape pictures of the Emperor of Britannia all around Lelouch's room_

Lelouch snarled as he glared at the man he hated whose picture covered all the walls of his room, including the ceiling. How the person managed to do that, he will never know.

"Well, this is going to take a while for you to clean up," C.C. commented, slipping past Lelouch into the room. "Oh and this was on the door." She handed him the note.

Lelouch took the note, unfolded it, and read it to himself.

 _Dear Zero,_

 _Payback's a bitch, isn't it?_

 _Sincerely,_

 _Suzaku_

Lelouch crumpled the note in his hands and immediately began tearing down the pictures while planning his own payback.

 **44**

 _I will not tape pictures of a cross-dressing Suzaku all around the A.S.E.E.C.'s hangar bay_

"Um, Suzaku?" Cecile said warily when Suzaku walked over to join her outside the door to the hangar where the _Lancelot_ was kept.

"Yes, Miss Cecile?" Suzaku asked.

"Er, why were you wearing a dress?" Cecile asked, holding up the picture.

Suzaku sputtered, eyes wide when he saw the picture Milly had taken during the annual Cross-Dressing Ball she'd insisted he take part in the year before. "Where'd you get that?" he exclaimed.

"See for yourself," Cecile said and opened the door before leading the way into the hangar bay.

Suzaku followed and stared. The entire hangar bay, and the _Lancelot_ itself, was covered with photocopied pictures of that same picture Cecile was holding in her hands. "What the…? How…?"

He had a sinking feeling he already knew.

"This was on Lloyd's desk. It's for you," Cecile said, holding out the folded letter.

Suzaku took the letter and opened it, glaring when his suspicions were confirmed.

 _Dear Pink Knight,_

 _Who knew Milly's blackmail material would come in handy?_

 _Sincerely,_

 _Zero_

Suzaku gripped the letter tightly and he growled out a curse.

 **45**

 _I will not fill the Imperial Palace's throne room with balloons_

Emperor Charles stared as he opened the grand doors to the throne room only for a large amount of balloons to spill out. He blinked as he opened the doors all the way and more balloons spilled out. It was clear that the entire throne room must have been filled since he couldn't even seen his throne.

"What the…?" Schneizel said in confusion.

"Who. Did. This?" Charles demanded, glaring at the two guards that stood on either side of the doors.

"Ah, we're not sure, Your Majesty. We didn't see anyone," the first guard admitted.

"Yeah. You two are the first to arrive this morning, Your Majesty," the second guard admitted.

"Clear it out now," Charles barked.

"Yes, Your Majesty," the two guards said and went to do just that.

Meanwhile, all the way back in Area 11, Lelouch grinned as he relaxed back against his seat, watching the incident through the camera he'd had the Geassed soldier he'd sent to Pendragon install right in front of the throne room's doors.

C.C. raised an eyebrow. "What was the point of Geassing those soldiers to go back to Pendragon and do that?" she asked.

"My own amusement," Lelouch said with a laugh.

 **46**

 _I will not skateboard around the_ Avalon

Gino whooped as he skated around the corner, only to crash into the large group of people that were in the hallway, taking everyone down. Those unfortunate enough to be at the back of the group—i.e. Schneizel, Suzaku, Andreas Darlton, and Guilford—just so happened to be at the top of a staircase.

Gino cringed as he watched as Schneizel, Suzaku, Andreas Darlton, and Guilford were all sent tumbling down the staircase to landed in a tangled heap of limbs and bodies at the bottom. "Umm, sorry?" he offered, walking around the knocked down people to peer down the staircase.

All he got were four angry glares.

 **47**

 _I will not attach an airhorn to the bottom of Cornelia's office chair_

Cornelia walked into the office after a long day of attempting to find Zero and the Black Knights and, sighing, sat down on her chair, only to jump up with a cry—she would never admit that she did this to anyone—of surprise when an airhorn sounded. "What the…?"

She peered under her office chair and scowled when she saw the airhorn that was taped under it.

"Um, my princess?" Guilford said uncertainly.

"Who did this?" Cornelia demanded, holding up the airhorn after she pried it off.

Guilford shrugged. "I don't know," he said.

A light giggle sounded in the doorway and Cornelia turned to find Euphie giggling, her eyes dancing with amusement. "Euphie!"

"It was too good to resist, Sister," Euphie said around her giggles.

 **48**

 _I will not use a hallway of the Imperial Palace as a slip-and-slide_

"Weee!" Gino cried as he slide down the hall and crashed into a large pile of pillows at the other end of the hallway. "That was fun! Suzaku, your turn." He quickly scrambled out of the pile of pillows just in time to avoid getting hit by Suzaku.

"That was fun," Suzaku exclaimed.

"I know, right? I told you it would be," Gino said happily.

Anya sighed. "I can't believe Suzaku actually did it," she murmured.

"What in the world is going on here?" Luciano demanded, moving to stand by Anya in the doorway and staring at both the oil covered floor and the mass of pillows at the other end.

"Hallway slip-and-slide," Gino said.

Luciano scowled. "What are you? Five years old? Why the hell…?"

"Wee!"

Luciano broke off, staring wide-eyed when Nonette Enneagram slid past him to crash into the large mass of pillows with Suzaku and Gino just barely getting out of the way in time.

"That was fun!" Nonette shouted happily as her head poked out of the pile of pillows.

"Tch, you three are so childish," Luciano snorted. "Why in the world…?"

"Wee!"

Luciano's jaw dropped as he watched Bismarck Waldstein slide past and crash into the mass of pillows, Nonette scrambling to get out of the way just barely in time.

"That is fun," Bismarck commented, poking his head out of the mass of pillows.

 _Thud_. Luciano's head made contact with the doorframe.

 **49**

 _I will not dress up as a gorilla and give random hugs to everyone I see_

The majority of the Core of the Black Knights, minus Tamaki and, strangely enough, Asahina, in the Black Knights' Headquarters stared at the gorilla that had just walked into the hangar bay where they were all gathered. The gorilla then walked forward and engulfed the person closest to him, who just so happened to be Zero, in a bear hug.

Zero was too dumbfounded to say anything, let alone try to break free.

The rest of the Core snickered, at least until the gorilla released Zero and immediately began hugging everyone else before walking off, not once saying a word.

There was a long moment of silence, then: "What. The. Hell?" Kallen pretty much summed up what everyone was thinking.

 **50**

 _I will not paint the Imperial Palace's throne room neon pink_

Emperor Charles opened the door to the throne room and was immediately assaulted by a bright pink color. Blinking, he stared, his jaw unhinging at his throne room, which was pink...entirely! The throne, the walls, the pillars, even the paintings on the wall—though he didn't know it, those had just been turned around before their backs were painted pink—were pink.

"What. The. Hell?" Charles exclaimed.

"Who had enough time on their hands to even do this?" Schneizel wondered from Charles's side.

"I don't care how they did it. I want to know _who_ did it!" Charles exclaimed.

Meanwhile, all the way back in Area 11, Lelouch chuckled at Charles's reaction to his new, pink throne room.

"...Why?" C.C. asked finally.

"His reactions amuse me," Lelouch said with a snicker.

C.C. sighed and shook her head. _Who knew your son was a prankster, Marianne,_ she thought.

 **. . .**

 **A/n what do you think?**

 **Blaze: as it says in the beginning note, this was not mean to be taken seriously. It was just something I thought of last night, after reading a lot of other 100/333/444 (whatever the number) I'm Not Allowed To Do In (insert fandom place here) stories, and I decided to get it down. I hope you find some of these funny. Which one's your favorite? I'd have to say mine's the prank war between Lelouch and Suzaku, though I honestly liked all of them.**

 **Bakura: and…?**

 **Blaze: and, if I come up with more ideas, I may continue this but it probably won't happen anytime soon. Reviews, as always, are much appreciated.**


	4. Flowers and Hot Chocolate

**. . .**

 **4**

 **Flowers and Hot Chocolate**

 **. . .**

 **Genre:** friendship/slight-romance

 **Rating:** PG

 **Summary:** It's Valentine's Day and Shirley wants something special to show Lelouch that she cares. Nunnally suggest a simple way how.

 **Main Characters:** Shirley Fenette, Nunnally vi Britannia, Lelouch vi Britannia

 **Setting:** pre-season 1, canon universe, slight AU

 **. . .**

Shirley paced the length of the meeting room, chewing on her lower lip as she thought about what to do. It was Valentine's Day and she wanted to get something for Lelouch, to show that she cared about him. She always got so flustered whenever she tried to talk to Lelouch about her feelings and thought hat, because it was Valentine's Day, maybe she could show it instead.

The only problem was that she didn't know how.

Lelouch never really cared about Valentine's Day, even though he had plenty of girls giving him sweets and chocolate and Valentine's Day cards, and only accepted the gifts out of politeness, albeit apathetically. With the members of the Student Council, who just gave each other cards because Valentine's Day wasn't just about couples but also about friends, he was a bit more open and slightly more gracious when he accepted those cards.

But Shirley didn't want to give him something as a friend. She wanted to give him something that meant something more than that, something that could help her show that she liked him as more than a friend.

She didn't want to ask Milly because the President of the Student Council would no doubt come up with something that was perverse or just plain embarrassing. Milly may be the one who knew Lelouch the best out of everyone on the Student Council but Shirley was still hesitant about asking her.

The door slid open and Shirley turned to find Nunnally wheeling herself into the meeting room. "Oh, hey Nunnally, Happy Valentine's Day," she said.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Shirley," Nunnally said with a bright smile before she held out a card that she had resting on her lap toward the orange-haired girl. "Sayoko helped me make this yesterday."

Shirley picked the homemade card and smiled. It had a drawing of her and the rest of the Student Council and the words Happy Valentine's Day written in red on top of it. "Thanks, Nunnally," she said, placing the card on the table and then starting to pace again.

"Are you okay?" Nunnally asked, tilting her head to the side curiously as she wheeled herself forward.

Shirley was about reassure the girl that she was fine but stopped as she reminded herself that Nunnally definitely knew Lelouch better than anyone, even Milly, and she might be able to help her. It was worth a shot anyway. "Actually, do you think you can help me?" she asked.

"Sure. What do you need help with?"

"Well, um, it's just...I wanna get a Valentine's Day gift for...erm...someone and I don't know what I can get them that showed that I cared. I mean...a card and candy just doesn't seem...enough," Shirley admitted.

Nunnally giggled. "You wanna get something for Big Brother, don't you?" she said.

Shirley went red. _Am I really that transparent?_ She thought. "No, I mean...yeah….I...it's just..." she stammered out.

"It's okay, Shirley," Nunnally said kindly. "We all know that you like Big Brother, except Big Brother himself, so it's no surprise that you'd want to get him something special." She pressed her lips together in thought and a smile suddenly crossed her lips.

"I think I know what you can do," she said.

"What's that?" Shirley asked.

"Well, I know that Big Brother's favorite flower are asters so maybe you can get him a couple of asters and hot chocolate. Big Brother likes hot chocolate, not all the time, no, but every Valentine's Day he'd have some hot chocolate with me and he always seemed to like it. So why not get him some asters and hot chocolate?" Nunnally suggested.

"That...That sounds like a great idea! Thanks, Nunnally!" Shirley said excitedly and headed toward the door leading out of the meeting room, intent on going to the kitchen and making some hot chocolate for Lelouch. Then she would have to track down some asters but she figured that she could find them in the garden club.

"Oh and don't forget the marshmallows," Nunnally called.

"I won't," Shirley called back and left the room.

 **. . .**

Lelouch dropped the group of Valentine's Day cards that he'd gotten that day into a small pile on the table and sat down next to his little sister. Currently, they were the only ones in the meeting room, waiting for the rest of the Student Council to arrive for the meeting.

"So how's your Valentine's Day been, Big Brother?" Nunnally asked sweetly.

"Fine," Lelouch said. He never really cared for Valentine's Day. To him, it was really just another day. It wasn't as if he had a girlfriend nor did he care enough to get to know the other girls at Ashford Academy. He didn't know how he had so many fangirls but Valentine's Day was the only time that they showed up out of the woodwork to give him cards or chocolate or candies. Most of the time, he gave the candies to Nunnally and just put the cards in a drawer in his room and forgot about them until he cleaned out his desk.

The cards exchanged by the Student Council were different simply because the Student Council were his friends and he did care about them, much more than he did the rest of the school.

"That's good," Nunnally said.

The door opened and Milly came into the room followed by Rivalz, the latter of whom was carrying a couple of cards in his hands. "Hey, guys, Happy Valentine's Day," he greeted them, handing Lelouch and Nunnally one card each.

"Oh, you got one written in braille. That's really nice, Rivalz. Thanks!" Nunnally said, smiling as she ran her fingers across the braille lettering.

"You're welcome, Nunnally," Rivalz said.

"Hmm, wonder where Shirley is," Milly said, flopping into her seat, placing the cards that she'd gotten over the course of the day on the table in front of her.

"Oh, she's getting something," Nunnally said with a sweet smile that was a little secretive and Lelouch raised an eyebrow, wondering what his little sister knew that no one else did.

The door slid open at that moment and Lelouch turned to it to find a panting Shirley making her way into the room. She was holding a steaming mug of hot chocolate in one hand, topped with mini marshmallows, and a couple of the familiar star-shaped purple aster flowers.

"Shirley, you're late," Milly scolded.

"Sorry, Madame President. It took me a bit longer to find these than I thought it would," Shirley admitted, walking over to join Lelouch and then, biting her lip, held them out to him. "Erm, Happy Valentine's Day, Lulu."

Lelouch blinked, surprised, but reached out and took both the mug and the two asters out of Shirley's hands. "Thank you but how did you know asters were my favorite flower?"

"You have a favorite flower?" Rivalz echoed.

"Shut up. Don't ruin the moment," Milly hissed to Rivalz, elbowing him sharply in the side.

"Um, well...Nunnally told me," Shirley admitted. "And, um, she told me that you used to drink hot chocolate with her every Valentine's Day so I thought...um...well...it' just...it's silly...I..." She was stammering out.

While Lelouch was a bit confused by why Shirley was acting all flustered around him all of a sudden, he did appreciate the gesture. "Thank you again. It was a thoughtful gift and I appreciate it," he said.

"Now go and get your own hot chocolate, Shirley," Nunnally said. "It's tradition! You gotta have a mug of hot chocolate with Big Brother."

"Um, right," Shirley said and darted out of the meeting room.

Lelouch glanced at his sister who held out a hand toward him. "I'm gonna head back to the apartment so I'll take those up with me, Big Brother. Sayoko can put them in a vase," she said.

"All right," Lelouch said, handing the two asters to Nunnally who took them and, resting them on her lap, wheeled herself out of the room.

Shirley came back into the room, with her own hot chocolate in her hands, soon after Nunnally left and Milly leaned forward and murmured something to Rivalz. Rivalz blinked but nodded and stood up and Milly stood up as well. "Well, I'm canceling this meeting. Have fun, you two," she said with a grin and she, completely ignoring the bewildered look Lelouch gave her, and Rivalz left.

"What was that about?" Lelouch said.

"Who knows with the president," Shirley said with a nervous smile, nursing the mug in her hands. She sipped at it and winced. "Ow, still too hot. It takes forever for it to cool down."

Lelouch chuckled a little, blowing on his hot chocolate. "But it's delicious," he said, sipping at it and wincing since his was still a bit too hot too.

Shirley nodded in agreement and the two of them lapsed into silence.

"So, um," Shirley trailed off and then tried again, "so asters are your favorite flower?"

Lelouch nodded. "I don't really know why. I never really thought about having a favorite flower but Nunnally asked me one time and those were the first that popped into my head," he said. He didn't say it out loud but the main reason why asters were his favorite flower was because they were one of the more unique flowers that could be found in the gardens of the Aries Villa. In short, asters reminded him of home while, at the same time, were unique among the other kinds of flowers in his mother's garden.

"That's cool."

Deciding to keep the conversation going, so as to not lapse into another awkward silence, Lelouch asked, "Do you have a favorite flower?"

Shirley nodded, smiling. "I actually like sunflowers. They're pretty and yellow like the sun," she said.

Lelouch nodded, sipping at his hot chocolate, thankful that it wasn't as hot as it was earlier so it didn't scald his tongue like last time. "I suppose I also like cherry blossoms," he said thoughtfully.

"Oh?" Shirley blinked.

Lelouch nodded, thinking back to his time at the Kururugi Shrine when he'd first visited the garden with Nunnally and Suzaku and the latter had introduced him to cherry blossoms, which were his favorite flowers.

"I've never seen a cherry blossom before. They're native to this country, aren't they?" Shirley asked.

Lelouch nodded. "They're beautiful. I know Nunnally loves them," he said. "Though she told me that her favorite flower are actually white roses."

"White roses really are pretty," Shirley said.

The two lapsed into silence again.

Shirley chuckled suddenly and Lelouch blinked at her, raising an eyebrow in confusion.

"Sorry," Shirley said. "I just...I never thought I'd have a conversation about flowers with you. Ah, no offense but..." She trailed off, blushing and sipping at her hot chocolate to try to cover up her embarrassment.

"I never thought I'd have this kind of conversation with anyone myself," Lelouch admitted faintly amused.

Shirley chuckled and sipped at her hot chocolate. She hesitated and then stood up, causing Lelouch to look at her in confusion. "Um, do you want to go for a walk?" she asked.

Lelouch blinked but shrugged. "Okay," he said, standing up and following Shirley as she led the way out of the meeting room.

The two walked around campus side by side as Shirley started talking about what Milly had originally planned for Valentine's Day. "Cupids! I mean, really? The ideas a good idea, I suppose, but the outfits she was gonna have herself, me, and Nina were..." She trailed off, her face going red and Lelouch could only imagine what revealing outfit Milly would have thrown the girls in their group in.

"She probably would have done it if we didn't run out of money and had to moderate our spending to ensure that the rest of the clubs got the money that they were allotted so I think you guys got off lucky," he said.

"Do you think it'll be possible to spend all the money before next Valentine's day comes around?" Shirley asked hopefully.

Lelouch chuckled. "Considering how overboard Milly goes with some of her ideas, it's a safe bet that we won't have enough money for this next year," he said.

"She really does go overboard on a lot of things. Remember the cross-dressing ball?" Shirley said.

Lelouch's eye twitched. "I'm trying hard to forget _that_ particular idea of hers," he said.

"She has pictures, you know."

"I intend on tracking them down as soon as possible and burning them."

Shirley chuckled and shook her head and the two of left the courtyard they'd been walking around and headed into the garden where the Garden Club usually met. A few of the club's members looked up from where they were working and waved in greeting or called out greetings before going back to work.

As they walked, Lelouch spotted a clump of sunflowers resting near the back of the garden, being watered by one of the gardeners. _It's only fair. She got me flowers after all,_ he thought and turned to Shirley. "I'll be right back," he said and wandered over to join the gardener.

The gardener looked up. "Hey Lelouch," she greeted him. "What can I do for you?"

"May I have a few of those sunflowers?" Lelouch asked, pointing to the clump.

"Sure." The gardener put the watering can down and, bending down, plucked a couple of the sunflowers before holding them out to him. "I hope Shirley likes 'em. 'Bout time you stopped being so clueless." She went back to watering the sunflower, ignoring the confused look Lelouch gave her.

Deciding to ignore that for now, he walked back to join Shirley.

"Where'd you go?" Shirley asked curiously.

"Just thought to get you something in return for those flowers and that hot chocolate earlier," Lelouch said and handed her the couple of sunflowers.

Shirley's eyes widened a little and then she smiled and took the flowers, sniffing them. "Thank you, Lulu," she said with a bright smile, a faint blush on her cheeks.

"You're welcome, Shirley. Ready to keep walking?"

"Sure."

The two of them walked side by side out of the garden, Shirley holding the sunflowers in her hands and smiling and Lelouch walking alongside her. He caught sight of the happy smile on her lips and let a small smile cross his own. "Happy Valentine's Day, Shirley," he said.

Shirley turned to him. "Happy Valentine's Day, Lulu," she replied, still smiling.

 **. . .**

 **A/n what do yo think?**

 **Blaze: short, I know, but I was trying to keep the characters in character and I didn't really want to drag it out. I was hoping to get this out on Valentine's Day but I ended up getting home a lot later than I'd planned so it's being posted a day late.**

 **Bakura: whatever**

 **Blaze: don't be a downer on Valentine's Day (kicks Bakura out of the computer room) Well, I hope that you enjoyed this little oneshot (and my newest addition to my collection of oneshots and short stories) and keep a look out because soon—as in, hopefully, only a day or two—I will be posting a Suzaku/Euphie fic. Thank you for reading and reviews, as always, are much appreciated.**


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